This week we welcome Brittany Lakose, Tammie’s sister-in-law and dear friend. During this episode she opened up about her bariatric surgery journey, the raw truths. This episode is a deep dive into her experiences, unearthing the profound mental and emotional transformations that accompany such an impactful physical change. Brittany's story illuminates the oft-ignored significance of mental health and support networks through the trials of bariatric surgery. She candidly addresses the challenges she faced post-surgery, from fluctuating friendships to discovering her own self-worth, offering an intimate look at how life can pivot on the axis of personal health decisions.
This episode underscores the importance of mental well-being, particularly when life throws us curveballs. Navigating the waters of a major surgery is one thing, but she also figures out the journey of pregnancy following that major surgery. We talk about the increase in fertility that can follow weight loss surgery, a crucial discussion for those considering the procedure, and the importance of transparent communication with healthcare providers to safeguard the health of both mother and child.
Brittany's resilience radiates through her story, reminding us of all of the power of self-drive and the courage to face adversity. Her determination to live authentically, to embrace second chances, and to not be defined by past missteps is nothing short of inspiring. As one of your hosts, Tammie finds herself offering a heartfelt apology for past misunderstandings while celebrating Brittany's strength. This conversation is an open invitation to anyone grappling with similar hurdles, to engage with us on social media, share your own stories, and find hope in Brittany's incredible journey.
This week we welcome Brittany Lakose, Tammie’s sister-in-law and dear friend. During this episode she opened up about her bariatric surgery journey, the raw truths. This episode is a deep dive into her experiences, unearthing the profound mental and emotional transformations that accompany such an impactful physical change. Brittany's story illuminates the oft-ignored significance of mental health and support networks through the trials of bariatric surgery. She candidly addresses the challenges she faced post-surgery, from fluctuating friendships to discovering her own self-worth, offering an intimate look at how life can pivot on the axis of personal health decisions.
This episode underscores the importance of mental well-being, particularly when life throws us curveballs. Navigating the waters of a major surgery is one thing, but she also figures out the journey of pregnancy following that major surgery. We talk about the increase in fertility that can follow weight loss surgery, a crucial discussion for those considering the procedure, and the importance of transparent communication with healthcare providers to safeguard the health of both mother and child.
Brittany's resilience radiates through her story, reminding us of all of the power of self-drive and the courage to face adversity. Her determination to live authentically, to embrace second chances, and to not be defined by past missteps is nothing short of inspiring. As one of your hosts, Tammie finds herself offering a heartfelt apology for past misunderstandings while celebrating Brittany's strength. This conversation is an open invitation to anyone grappling with similar hurdles, to engage with us on social media, share your own stories, and find hope in Brittany's incredible journey.
Welcome to Core Bariatrics Podcast hosted by Bariatric Surgeon Dr Maria Iliakova and TMA LaCose, bariatric Coordinator and a patient herself. Our goal is building and elevating our community. The Core Bariatric Podcast does not offer medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. On this podcast, we aim to share stories, support and insight into the world beyond the clinic. Let's get into it All the families on the podcast. Today, our guest is my sister-in-law, who has had Bariatric Surgery. I'm going to go back to calling you my best friend again one of them. At the end. I kind of want to touch base on where I think we went wrong. But anyways, this is Brittany LaCose and yeah, thanks for being with us.
Speaker 2:
Yay, welcome. Yes, thanks for having me. I'm excited.
Speaker 1:
Yes, yes, let's just dive in. And how do you think your experience was with your Bariatric Program? Do you think you were supported enough? Was it you learned all the things? You needed to learn things?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I feel like my program was actually fulfilling as far as setting me up for success. I was the person that was very motivated to be able to make this successful, knowing that it was a lifelong thing, that our commitment, that I was doing. That was something I took it very seriously. I like what the surgeon said is exactly what I did, minus one little thing, but we'll get to that later in the podcast.
Speaker 3:
We'll get to that later.
Speaker 2:
So I really I enjoyed the pre-part of it. I enjoyed just the knowledge that the surgeon and the staff had to give to you as far as the do's and the don'ts, and this works good for one person and not the next. So I really just I just absorbed all of the information. But I also really went on the deep end as far as self-taught knowledge kind of stuff as well. So I think my process went I would not have changed it for the world and I think it went better than most. To be honest with you.
Speaker 1:
So let's say your program wasn't ideal and you needed all the resources because you're a, we're a lot alike and did all the research. Do you feel like you would have had enough content out there to support the good, the bad, the ugly, all the things like touching base with what can happen after a surgery, with mental health, with relationships, because you've gone through a divorce and I know you're very open about all of that? So do you feel like there's enough content out there to help the good, the bad, the ugly?
Speaker 2:
Honestly, no, I don't think that there is, and I say that because there's a lot of like stuff for pre-surgery but there's not enough about mental health. There's because it is such a mind game pre-during and post-op it's such a mind game, but in addition to that, it's relationships, it's connections, it's your job, workplace. There's so much that it ties into and it's affected that I don't think that there is enough resources. Because, in addition to what you eat, you want to have a community of what you eat, but and that is a big source of it but also you have to have your mental state prepared and you also have to have, like your kids. It affects your children. There's just so much to it. So I don't think that there is, because you can search out like bariatric recipes and all of them are pre-workout. If you go to Pinterest, they're all pre-surgery, prepping until you get to surgery, but it's nothing. For I'm five years out. There's no real good resources to what I should be eating now. So I think that there's a lot of things that there could be more resources. If you are not searching for it or no search for it, then you're totally lost.
Speaker 1:
And so, since you're touching base on mental health and I really do not want to miss this aspect is completely off topic, but I wanted to touch base on it so you had surgery much earlier than I did. We were best friends, best friends, we did all the things together, did all the nails together, like literally talked every day. You had surgery. I, very much so, was supportive during pre-op. I even took you to, I think, your one week appointment, while you're eating out of the one ounce cup saying I'm struggling and I'm sitting here like what is this? But then you started losing the weight, becoming more confident, becoming more self, or you felt yourself worth and I brought this up recently to you because now I'm experiencing what you've dealt with is you started feeling the changes in people around you including myself, including myself Like we were so close anyways, and I openly told you that I thought your posts on Facebook saying if you don't support me, if you don't, I don't need you, and I thought I'm like wow, that is like toxic positivity, like what. And so I we very much and I even I even did say this to you and me had a conversation. Just, it wasn't a great conversation, right. It was very much so me not being so nice, right, and but now I recently reached out to you and I told you like I apologize, because now I am feeling what I made you feel of you're not, it's not a fake positivity, it is a. I genuinely feel good. I genuinely know now I don't have to put up with anybody's crap. I deserve more than what some people are giving me. Yeah, I even just wanted to say bring that up that I was one of those people that made another person feel that way and karma came a bit me in the butt. No, for a good reason though, but I wanted to make awareness of that that it could look like you're being fake positivity to other people around you, but genuinely, you just can't even express your happiness enough, and you cannot express your, it's so true, I don't need your crap enough, like you're just yeah, so I just wanted to. While you were touching base on that, though, I do want to know how did that? I know how it makes me feel now because I'm dealing with that, but how did that make you feel, especially because we were so close, so close. I lost, yeah, yeah, how did that make you, how did I make you feel, literally other people.
Speaker 2:
I'm glad you did that because, yeah and I'm glad you're bringing it up because you're not the only connection that I lost oh, absolutely. You're one person pre-surgery and you're a whole new person post-op and I always wondered what it looked like to other people, like outside, in right, because I'm living my life and you're like different perspectives. But at the end of the day, I felt like I was given a whole new life, a second chance at life, and I truly, genuinely I had to take this seriously for my children's future, absolutely so for me to lose connections, it wasn't anything. It bothered me. I can't say that it didn't. It did bother me. I also had to keep moving forward. So I didn't have a minute to sit down and think about oh, poor me this relationship or whatever. I really had to keep moving. And it was a thought, especially, like you said, we did everything. We talked every day. It was something that your connection or relationship was the one that hurt the most of losing because we were so close. And I didn't have a sister Me neither.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah. You even said you were one of my bridesmaids at my wedding and you were the one that had to make the speech because my maid of honor wasn't doing it. And you said to Brett my husband so this is his twin sister not just twin sister.
Speaker 3:
They share the same womb.
Speaker 1:
But you said to Brett. You said I'm sorry, I know this is your wife, but you're sharing her, Sorry. Oh, yes, I'm going to pull that video up for Maria. Super cute.
Speaker 2:
So I think and this gets us into our topic today Didn't you tell me that I was the first person you told that you were pregnant, or maybe I was so nervous to tell anybody and you were the only person I could tell for for some time because the stigma or like not having the judgment put on to me because I already had went through so much judgment of having the surgery to begin with. I didn't want to be criticized and put down any more than I already was. There's a stigma on it. So, yeah, you were definitely. I told you and kept it to you, and that's it.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, two and a half months post up Is a staple, even healed by them.
Speaker 3:
We're healed, but that's rough. Yeah, first of all because I don't know you that well. Was that something that? How did it happen? Was it intentional? Was it not intentional? Did you know it could happen that way? I'm really curious about it.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I'll preface everything by saying when you are fertile myrtle after surgery, you are fertile myrtle. It took one time, and one time only. Wow, here we are, literally one time only. So to give a little backstory of myself and why I'm really passionate about getting your mental health and just having your mental health post up just as much as pre up is. I was in a marriage that was rocky to begin with. When I decided to have this surgery, it was something that I was criticized and ridiculed because I was going to better myself. So I do that right. So I pushed on. I still moved through because I knew what I needed to do, not what I wanted to do, and so I did it and I separated, like two weeks before my surgery date and my husband my ex husband at the time or at the now. He still took me to my surgery, but it was the most awkward and weirdest thing ever because you have to have somebody and I live an hour away from the closest family member, so I had to. He was my only option. He still took me to my surgery and then we were we still stayed separated. I moved back to my hometown and I did my post-op down there.
Speaker 1:
So I had to take her to another.
Speaker 3:
Wow yeah.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so all of this happened at the same time and so I lived down there and I don't. It was like such a fog. I don't remember too much, but one of the days, for whatever reason, I didn't want to drive home I think it was in the winter time. In the drive, the travel an hour, one way I just didn't want it with because I had kids, boys, and so I asked him no history boys.
Speaker 1:
So quick telling him to have more for girls. No, you don't need anymore. I don't need you, mom, there.
Speaker 3:
You guys are all fertile murals now, and all boys yes.
Speaker 2:
Love it. Yes, boy mom, yeah. So I asked him to see at his house and it's late at night. I had the conversation one time and then I knew instantly, I knew I was so pissed I went to bed so bad, because I knew I said I even had to sign a paper to the surgeon saying I would not get pregnant within the first 12 months.
Speaker 3:
I bet you did, I bet you did.
Speaker 2:
I bet you did. I mean my custom. I was so mad. So yes, and so fast forward. Here we are. I was two months post-op and I'm divorced and happily in a relationship, and it's a totally different night and day pre and post surgery.
Speaker 3:
So Wow, wow, okay, tell me, okay, I'm going to dive into a few things. At the time, were you on, were you using any conceptive?
Speaker 2:
I was not because I thought I was going through a separation. I was fine, I wouldn't need it. And here we are.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, because that's an unpredictable thing. Absolutely, that makes sense. And then how did you feel when it happened, talking to your healthcare providers about it? Did that feel difficult to do?
Speaker 2:
It was something that burdened me for several weeks. I the online portal. I could not call and make the appointment I had to send my surgeon. My surgeon and I had a really good connection or relationship, so I sent her a message and I said I am sorry.
Speaker 3:
Now and I apologize, oh goodness.
Speaker 2:
And then I told her and so yeah, so she called me right away and we made the appointment and yeah, everything was fine.
Speaker 3:
These things happen and I do want to congratulate you for actually contacting your surgeon and letting her know, because there are so many people out there that are afraid of what their surgeon or what their healthcare team or whatever will think or do. But guess what? 1000 times out of 1000, we want people to come in and be seen and communicate and tell us what's going on. 100% of the time. I promise you Good for you. So what did you do?
Speaker 2:
I didn't find. You know, like I yeah, I was just going to say that I didn't find, or I found that it was they were very much more helpful than I ever would have imagined. Like you said, they will help you. But it was something where I know I signed that paper. I signed on the dotted line saying I wouldn't. So just that fear of what would happen. But at the end of the day, they are here for our health, they are here for our reason, and so they really got me on the right path as far as setting me up for success on it. Definitely reach out because, yeah, it was a lot more scary sounding than it really was.
Speaker 1:
And so what did you struggle with? Since you were so far out and it's so new, you were still probably trying to figure out how to get your fluids in and how to get all your nutrition in, so did you struggle with all that?
Speaker 2:
Yes, I did. It was such a struggle because you're still tapering into what you can actually eat. And so then now, once I got pregnant, then I had to change it up to what I was trying to do. Traditional post-op was to what I needed to do. And then did it really have problems with eating per se? It was. I was still so fresh out of surgery I couldn't eat enough, so, like I had to, what we ended up doing was doing five meals, so I just made smaller meals spread out through the day and that helped. So as soon as I changed, or made that change, it was totally different and it became a lot easier for me to be able to do what was asked of doing that and he's a healthy, crazy little man.
Speaker 1:
Oh my gosh, it's crazy how much time flies. So how did that change? Because for our program it's one week, one month, three months, six months, a year follow-up. So how did those follow-ups change for you, and were there any extra testing you needed Just to make sure you and baby were getting both what you needed yeah.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah. So I actually ended up getting referred to a specialty OB doctor to be able to monitor me just because I was so fresh out of surgery. I went to I don't, yeah. So I went to a major OB office that did housewife or midwives as well as regular OB, and so it was a very hop in center, if you will, and I was the one that actually was the quickest after surgery. They had someone that was five months post-op, but not two and a half months, so they ended up building a special panel to be able to come together from all over the US to be able to monitor my results. I actually had a lot of extra appointments, wow, but I'm very thankful for that, yeah, and it's helpful for them and they just go ahead. Oh no, sorry, go ahead.
Speaker 3:
They mean an error, go ahead.
Speaker 2:
Oh yeah, no, they just they collaborated together and this I got extra ultrasounds and I was excited about that. What mom doesn't like that? But it was fun to go to all these extra ones, even though it was very time consuming and energy exhausting because you're trying to focus on your food and anything else. But it just fit in well and it was fun to have the extra ones overall.
Speaker 3:
In some ways you're making it sound so good. I'm afraid that other people might go this route just to get the extra ultrasounds and the extra eyes on them and stuff. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding, but I do. I know, please don't. Yeah, maybe not so good, but I know your surgeon personally who did your surgery and really respect her a lot and it sounds this surgeon really went above and beyond to make sure that you were getting really great care and good coordination in that and that really seems like it made a huge difference in your health and your baby's health and sort of the overall process, which otherwise could have been chaotic and difficult.
Speaker 2:
Fair assessment yes 100%, I would agree. Yeah, having the medical support staff in the weight loss surgery as well as my OB, and they both collaborated together in addition to the panel, so I really had a lot of support post-op in the situation that I was put into.
Speaker 1:
So, yes, Two and a half months post op. That is just the beginning of weight loss. So obviously I know that kind of probably sucked in your brain because you're like I just had surgery, this big surgery, to get loose weight, and now I'm probably getting gained weight. But A were you mentally able to handle the fact that you just did all of this work to have surgery to lose weight and now you're gaining it? You're supposed to gain it or at least stay stable, and do you think it did affect your overall outcome? I think you've been pretty successful, but yeah.
Speaker 2:
So I was so nervous. As you're pregnant, you have pregnancy gain right, and so that was my biggest concern with all of the doctors that I always addressed with them is that I just don't want an abnormal amount of weight gain because I didn't want to mess up what I just went through and what I've been doing so far, and that was my concern, obviously in addition to the baby safety. But the surgeons and the OB doctors took very seriously that they wanted to be sure they monitored as well. So I do feel that even though I did two and a half months post-op get pregnant, I still was very successful because I still took it seriously. Even if I was pregnant or not, I still took it very seriously. I still listened to what I was told to do and I did it, just making sure that I had the level head on my shoulder, I guess of is this safe for me or the baby? Our safety has to be put at first. Weight loss is put second, but just making sure that we were safe overall like my biggest goal. So I do feel it was successful. I do I have, I guess. I'll tell you my stats. My highest was 270. I got down, so I always say my lowest was 190, but that's a baby and baby weight. So I, looking at pictures to when I was pregnant, I definitely feel like I got down lower than that, like closer to the 170, but I've leveled out at around 200, 1,200, about where I plateaued for several years. I am five years post-op Now. I'm very happy still to this day, even having gone through the pregnancy and and your other two pregnancies.
Speaker 1:
I believe you were larger, right, I think you've always struggled with your weight, obviously. So even though you were a high pregnancy, if I'm not mistaken, I feel like you enjoyed this pregnancy more because you had some nice photos done, I believe. So do you actually think that pregnancy was easier, just honestly, on your body, you might have been at the doctor more than you were at home, but do you feel like it was easier at all, or really no difference?
Speaker 2:
No night and day difference. Honestly, I gained my all of my weight with my first pregnancy and I could not get it off. My average weight previously was around the 190 range, and so that's where I gained the 100 pounds, I feel, with my first one and just never got it off. And so I was just miserable internally, like mentally, as well as physically, because I have all the weight. So I don't know if I was able to really fully enjoy my pregnancies and my children when they were little. I definitely have a better connection with this child and that's just naturally because I can get down and play on the floor with him and I'm not too tired or out of breath, or I can go out and play or ride bikes with all of the kids, not just him, but like I am 100% enjoying pregnancy I loved because I can feel the kicks better versus being surrounded by fat and it absorbs it kind of thing. Yeah, I definitely had a healthier pregnancy. I had three pushes and this child was out, versus hours of labor with the other two.
Speaker 1:
So, cohen, your neck move your pain in the butt, 92 hours of brutal, brutal.
Speaker 3:
Yes, she had as many hours as you have Shut up.
Speaker 1:
So do you recommend? And if you say the wrong thing I'll edit it out. But no, do you recommend? Would you have done anything differently?
Speaker 2:
I would have not gotten pregnant so close to surgery. I made it happen, but not everybody is as mentally am bunkish and prepared and just a go-getter as I am. I'm fully understand and fully aware of that. But Even for me it was a struggle. It's like in why self-induce that? Why not take care of yourself? Because you're doing it for a reason. You're doing it to take care of yourself for your own results, so why would you not take it seriously? You can have it anytime. I promise It'll be there. The baby will be there in a year. Just ride it out, take care of yourself, get yourself prepped and ready and then 100%. Then you can go for it.
Speaker 3:
Actually, I do have a question. Were there things that were helpful to you in making it a successful pregnancy? What kind of things did you use as your supports and go-tos during that time?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so I found on Facebook it was a bariatric pregnancy and I'm sorry, I don't know exactly what the, but I found it and I just spent hours in like these chat forums as what I explain it. What explain it to you is I just spent hours in there just reading different people's situations, because even from Tammy and I, our whole experience is so different. We have another sister-in-law that had the surgery and her situation was totally different. So just really learning, okay, this, what could be the possibility, or this is what could be the outcome, or just really educating, so then I'm not blindsided, or I know, oh, this worked really well for one person, so that was like my go-to, I guess, of being successful with Are you?
Speaker 1:
struggling with anything now, like when it comes to your exercise, your food intake, your Mental health.
Speaker 3:
Mental health Anything. Yeah, your babies yeah.
Speaker 1:
Look, these lakosas are not for the week. So many boys in this lakosas family.
Speaker 3:
This is wild.
Speaker 2:
This is true. So I do see a therapist. Now, is it because I'm struggling? No, I am a big advocate of mental health. I do. My middle son is diagnosed with autism and ADHD, so mental health is something that is already just naturally. I'm very pro mental health, I guess just because of the life or situation that I've been given, so that is something I do. But I also do talk to her about the weight gain and how I'm scared to gain it back or eating and so on. So I do crave sugar. I've always said that my choice of drug is not going to do Always.
Speaker 3:
You gotta have something I understand.
Speaker 2:
No, there's just not.
Speaker 1:
Now I think now, looking back, I obviously know Uli and obviously great kid obviously, but do you think you could have handled him and his situation and advocated as well as you have for him having the patients and all of that, and honestly, you have to fight for the services he got? Would you have been able to do that without surgery, honestly?
Speaker 2:
No, there's no way I would have been able to. He is so exhausting. Something as little as putting your shoes on is just a fight for everything. So there's no way, mentally or physically, that I would have. Emotionally, there's no way I would have had the capacity to with him.
Speaker 1:
There's no way yeah I do have anything. There's so much to her. There's so much to this.
Speaker 3:
We probably need to schedule a second visit with you, because it sounds like you went through not only bariatric surgery, not only bypass, not only sleep, not only asleep, but also pregnancy within two and a half months, and then also huge changes in your relationship divorce, things like that. Having a kid with neurodivergence that's a lot in and of itself. That's not even touching on more than the 30 minutes we've been chatting, but just your resilience, your grit, your ability to trust yourself and to stick with things. You are a remarkable human being. She's my twin.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, thank you. You seem to be happy to get along so well. Just, we had a hiccup because, yeah, yeah, because yeah. Life has heard so much.
Speaker 2:
No, but as you said, though, it's just like you have to have the self drive and will, and you have to not let things or people bother you, so you really just have to say true to yourself, and you really do have to do what fuels you, because you do have a second chance of life, and it's either you're on board with me or you're not. Just where I'm at.
Speaker 1:
And I feel that so much now. So much now. I will forever apologize for the way I made you feel, but I think you are very resilient, you are very. Yeah, thank you so much for sharing your story.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, you, yes, you are an amazing person and yes, we will have you on again, for sure and sharing with people. There's a way to do it, even if it's really hard and it's really crazy. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:
So, for everybody listening, don't forget to follow us, to go over to Instagram and look at Corbariatrix if you have a question, concern, want to talk about anything or anything like that. So thank you, miss Brittany.